Insights Over Hallucinations

Why do we have to get a hammer that would knock us down. Why do we have to get tasks enormous to bear. Why do we have to be so busy when we could be lying comfortably in silence.Why am I desperate on keeping burdens and not be able to accomplish a lot with excellence. These whys of being insane about work are only some of

the wonders in my mind.

I was used to cramming. All the days of my life, all the days of my examinations, all the time I have spent in completing my education have all been spent with that cramming attitude. For some reasons, my creative juices and intellectual functions are at its best during times that I am agitated and pressured. Perhaps it would be best for me to consult a Psychologist of some sort. It actually is hard to come up with a practice similar to what I am doing right now, I hope I could be someone better. Someone who knows how to prioritize things and how to make productive time out of the ample time given to him or her. I hope I could be a better me.

I have already considered a lot of reasons for my being so. I have even related my attitude to my early life experiences. For the times that I have spent thinking about the reasons for my being me, I have no clearer reason to blame for my state aside from the vague reason that it's just the way it is. Perhaps I won't be me if I had changed a little for better or worst. Perhaps it's the cramming that keeps me going. The idea of being fast and furious with work and at the end, finding out that a lot of errors had been committed. It's funny how I had been reminded of the good old days when I could have been a better me. I hope to turn back times so as to improve fast actions. But the present is so clear and vivid. The future is coming and is becoming recognizable. The past, on the other hand is doomed to be lost in memory.

A number of years had passed. I have already seen 2 years of graduates passing in my hands. Products of the teachings and learnings we all shared in the classroom. The good old times and the bad old times. All combined to make a colorful experience. Weird as it may sound, I am happy to reminisce the times I have nearly cried out of disappointment. I have nearly lost control of my emotions because of anger. And so nearly lost my voice because of the attempt to improve my teachings. But all these acts are going easy at hand these times that I already had the taste of a little of a lot. And still, I have more to learn.

The rising of hopes comes with the mighty provider of energy. The source of light on earth, a symbol of immense greatness of the Creator.